Road Trip!!!

Read about the Top 10 Christian Tourist Traps...

and tell me when we're going!

I seriously would love to see a general religion theme park. It would include real rides, like:

• The Sufi whirlagig, where you get spun around and around
• The holy water pool, so you can have splashing good fun reliving the Biblical healing water pool
• in Hinduland (because it would be divided up into minilands per religion) there'd be a faris wheel depicting reincarnation
• the Rapture Ride would be a blasting rocket ship into fake clouds
• you could rent bicycles to ride like Mormon missionaries

Etc. Can you come up with any?

I hate crocs - I'm not alone!!!

Check out this blog all about the horridness of crocs!!!

Michael Moore

Michael Moore interview with Bill Maher:
http://www.alternet.org/blogs/video/52438/

About his new movie Sicko, covering the healthcare situation in this country.

Sigh. It can be so sad to contemplate how screwed up this place is.

And by place, I mean more than just America...

How to Love Your Toddler Tips

I think this is a great and really helpful list!

Toddlerhood can be a maddening time for parents. But you’ll be glad to know you can reduce your child’s rebellion by giving him freedom to do his developmental work.

How much is he allowed to explore? To set his own pace? To feel in control of his world? To discover that he’s a competent person? Can you appreciate his bids for independence without taking them as personal insults? Can you give up some control so he can develop some sense of mastery over his world?

Your baby is growing into her own person. Your challenge is to keep your sanity and keep her safe. Your best strategy is to cultivate a great relationship with her and enjoy her emerging independence. How?

1.Cultivate empathy for your child. Kids begin to develop empathy (and therefore, the ability to play well with others) as they themselves feel understood. And it’ll make you a better parent.

2.Don't force her to share. Instead, encourage taking turns. Let her put her favorite toys away before another child visits.

3.Allow time in your schedule for your toddler's need to explore the world. Rushing toddlers is one of the common triggers of avoidable tantrums.

4.Use age-appropriate discipline: distraction, reasonable limits, redirection. Don’t unwittingly teach your toddler that might makes right by spanking her. And if you yell at her, you're teaching her by example that tantrums are ok.

5.Let your child be in charge of toilet training. They all get out of diapers sooner or later. Fights with your child about his body are fights you will never win. If your child shows zero interest in toilet training, find opportunities for him to be around other kids who are using the toilet, and he'll quickly want to emulate them.

6.Sidestep power struggles. You don't have to prove you're right. Your child is trying to assert that he’s a real person, with some real power in the world. That's totally appropriate. Let him say no whenever you can do so without compromise to safety, health, or other peoples' rights.

7.Feeding is the toddler’s job. You provide the healthy food. She feeds it to herself. Don’t obsess about how much she eats; kids don't starve themselves. Many toddlers are too busy during the day to eat enough and ask for food at bedtime. Build a bedtime snack into the routine to help him sleep better.

8.Forget about stimulating your child's brain by teaching her the alphabet. The intellectual work of toddlers is about talking and being listened to, observing the world, being accepted and validated. Emotional self-management lays the foundation for intellectual development. It's never too early to develop a love of books, if you want your child to love reading, then read to her and tell her stories.

9.Pre-empt whining. Whining is an expression of powerlessness. It can become a habit. Try to avoid making whining necessary, and if it does happen, try to avoid rewarding it.

10.Use routines. Kids develop self discipline partly by living in a safe, predictable structured routine where they know what to expect. When you disrupt routines with Grandma’s visit or simply exceptions for your own convenience, you can expect tantrums, difficulty falling asleep, and other challenges. Grandma, of course, is worth it, but choosing disruptions wisely is part of protective parenting.

11.Help your toddler feel more powerful by listening to her, letting her make decisions whenever possible, and giving her the opportunity to experience competence by helping you with simple household tasks.

12.Minimize or eliminate visual electronic media. Sesame Street creates a watcher, not a doer, shortens attention spans, and starts an addiction in kids who are prone to it. When they’re a little older, they’ll flip on the TV instead of reading a book. Not to mention that you’ll have stopped being able to monitor what they watch by the time they’re eight. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under the age of two not watch TV or videos at all because it impacts brain development. The AAP recommends that children over two watch AT MOST an hour daily of nonviolent, educational TV.

13.Pre-empt tantrums. Since most tantrums happen when kids are hungry or tired, think ahead. Preemptive feeding and napping, firm bedtimes, cozy time with you, peaceful quiet time without media stimulation -- whatever it takes to stay grounded -- prevent most tantrums. Learn to just say no -- to yourself! Don't squeeze in that last errand with a hungry or tired kid.

14.Try to handle tantrums so they don’t escalate. If your kid does launch into a tantrum despite your best preventive efforts, stay calm. He needs to know you're there and still love him, even if he won't let you touch him. Don’t try to reason with him. Think about what you feel like when you’re swept with exhaustion, rage and hopelessness. He needs to know that you’re in control, and as soon as he's ready, you'll help him recollect himself. Afterwards, take some reassuring “cozy time” together, but don't give in to the original demand that prompted the tantrum.
www.yourparentingsolutions.com

Dr. Laura Markham is the founder of www.YourParentingSolutions.com, featuring a popular advice column and parent-tested solutions you can use every day to connect with your kids and create a richer family life. Dr. Markham specializes in helping families nurture the parent-child relationships that protect today's kids.

www.HealthNewsDigest.co

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Mother of the Year!

One of my online working mother friends told us this story last week - so funny I just had to post it here:

ship a lot of stuff for my business, and I was making a 4:55 run to
the Earlysville post office yesterday afternoon with my 2-year old
daughter to get a huge stack of packages out in the day's mail. She's
out of diapers these days, but we still have occasional accidents. She
was actually going "commando"at that point in the day because an
accident earlier in the afternoon had nuked the last spare set of
underwear that I had with me. So here I am, standing in line, trying to
fill out a customs form, while she's happily rearranging the Priority
Mail boxes, when I hear the unmistakable sound of what could only be a
very loose BM. But just in case I missed it, she loudly announced to me
and the crowd in the post office, "Mommy, I pooped!"

I turn around, and she's walking across the room towards me, leaving a
trail of fresh poo across the post office floor. It was down her legs,
all over her shoes, and getting everywhere. So here I am, hugely
pregnant, scrambling around on the floor, trying to wipe up the mess,
trying to keep her from touching anything, and trying to achieve all of
this while maintaining some vague air of dignity as the other postal
patrons look on. Meanwhile, Molly keeps repeating her cheerful chorus
of "Poop, Mommy!" and pointing to the mess. I was absolutely mortified
and felt totally incompetent as a mom!

But I guess it's all in a day's work as a work at home mom, right?

Yay Parenthood

Boing Boing

Snot siphon for sucking your kids' nose clear

By Cory Doctorow Cory Doctorow: The Nosefrida is a suction straw for clearing snot out of your kids' nostrils. Put the rubber hose up your kid's nose, then suck on the other end (keep track of which end you use for what). A filter stops the gunk and germs from ending up in your mouth. Link (via OhGizmo)

Uh-Oh at B&N

So, motherhood didn't start it, I've always been a klutz -- or rather, prone to ridiculous accidents (a talent I've inherited from my mother - we're both comedians, Lucille Ball types without the cameras).

But motherhood does give me a great excuse when the ridiculous happens. For instance, when I swiped my card so emphatically at the counter last night at Barnes & Noble that I elbowed my frappucino to the ground, where it splattered in a mess - it would have happened if I'd been alone, but because Josie was in my arms, I kind of made the "oh it's so hard being a mother" grimace and scooted out apologetically and felt forgiven by the girl behind the register. You know?

And last week, when I knocked the just-bought, full, expensive, and open sandalwood oil bottle into the used and also open toilet bowl (which my husband later unknowingly flushed down the toilet) the fact that Josie was in the room, even though she had nothing to do with the accident, somehow made me feel - at least on the inside - okay. I mean, rushing around in the morning, getting ready, finding socks and bananas and a clean bra and all that... it's so hard being a mother!

The thing is, it IS hard, but it's also a lot of fun, and I've actually got our morning and evening routines down pretty good. What's hard is just being the kind of person who knocks things over and tends to make a big splash without meaning to. And it's always been like that - that is nothing new. So maybe it's not fair to motherhood to blame it for everything.

But as we all know - life isn't fair...

Children's Christian Songs

How much of a heathen am I?

My mother was a Sunday School teacher and children's choir director most of my life. So, I grew up singing a lot of children's songs - but they were all Christianesque.

Getting sick of The Itzy Bitzy Spider, I find myself reverting to these old religious standards, but changing the lyrics to reflect my rather different theology.

For example:
If I were a butterfly, I'd thank you goddess [lord], for giving me wings
If I were a bird in a tree, I'd thank you goddess [lord] that I could sing
And if I were a fishy in the sea, I'd wriggle my tail and I'd giggle with glee
Cuz I just thank you mother [father] for making me me
Cuz you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
You gave me this world [Jesus} and you made me its [his] child
And I just thank you mother [father] for making me me

Or

I've got the joy joy joy down in my heart
Down in my heart, down in my heart
I've got the joy joy joy down in my heart today
And I"m so happy, so very happy
I've got the love of Josie [Jesus] in my heart, down in my heart
I've got the love of Josie [Jesus] in my heart

(Thank goddess [god] Josie's name isn't "Hernanda" or something.)

Am I going to hell?
Will my mother find out and send me there?

My Favorite Things

Instead of a birthday wish list that lists items, I am instead going to list my favorite things, interests, colors. Because I don't really want to give an order form, you know? And I don't want one, either. I would love it love it if all of my friends gave me a similar list. It makes shopping/making/preparing gifts so much more of a creative and inventive act. So please - I'm showing you mine - show me yours!

Colors: Red. I love dark, bright reds. I also like black and green and blue and orange. Once I get going... I like multicolored, bright things. Like Mexican rugs. Koi fish ponds. Not rainbowy or pastels. I would like a red kitchen, for instance. With red napkins, red plates, red glasses, red appliances, etc.

Style: Anything Asian, east Asian, Indian, bamboo/woven, Thai

Flavors, smells, tastes, etc.:
Peppermint
Ginger (love ginger tea)
Sandalwood
Copper
Thick, dark coffee
Thick, dark beer
Thick, dark wine
Cheese
Plants (perennials)
Magnolia trees
Rosemary bushes (all herbs good, this is my favorite-smelling one)
Hydrangeas
Fruit trees (I like things that do something)

I can't get enough of...
Mary Poppins, the cd and/or dvd
Stephen Sondheim musicals
Billy Collins poetry
Mae West
Ella Fitzgerald
Rings, necklaces, earrings
Shoes, socks, pantyhose
Lotion, bubbles, perfume oil
Reading
UU books
Massage
Water

Misc. Items of Desire
Nice paper, stationary, blank books, ink pens, colored sharpies, canvases, art stuff
Bread machine
Chimes, birdfeeders, lovely outdoor decor (that does something) stuff
How to make a lampshade kit
Jewelry holder
Mobiles

Shop for me at:
Uncommon Goods
Target
MOMA
Pier One
10,000 Villages
World Market
Chinese/Asian marts/stores

Identity

The problem for me with having a blog is I can't decide the focus. This is because, in general, I can't decide who I am.

That is, there's tons of people out there who write parent blogs - CrankMama, for instance, or Stlworkingmom (I always think it means "Still Working" or "Steelers Working" instead of "St. Louis"). Rereading my old posts that have to do with being a mother, I considered framing this blog that way. It would make blog-life easier. I could be on parent-blog networks and maybe get a book deal or something (ha).

But as soon as I start giving weight to that choice, other ones sprout their weedy little heads. I could focus on my spirituality, UUism, the Soul Diet book I've been trying to write forever. I could return to using the insincere but comic 'dumb girl' lens through which to critique society (problem: certain relatives don't get the humor). Every post could be a poem only. I could make cartoons like the one I did for the jozy blog. I could make lists (I love making a list!). I could revamp my redinked.com persona and review the media/books.

All these ideas bring indecisiveness and conflict; as per usual with me, creativity is the first horse of my inner apocalypse of immobility and depression.

And this is just about a blog - a tiny reflection of the larger tension in my life, which is, has been since I was fifteen, what am I going to do with my life?

Over the past several years, I have considered the following:
- poet
- professor
- gifted-children teacher
- graphic designer
- hippie
- lawyer
- MBA - haver
- web designer for nonprofits
- novel-writer
- child advocate
- editor
- priest/minister
- theater teacher
- creative writing teacher
- daycare owner
- psychologist/therapist
- motivational speaker/self-help author
- education phd/ theorist

All of these have their complexities and problems (time commitment, money, lack of skill, not wanting to move, lack of education, etc.) but the biggest problem with ALL of them is that
I don't want to do one of them so much that I'm willing to commit to it and tackle the attending difficulties.

I have, all my life, been fairly quick at picking things up, fairly talented in a general sort of way - a blessing in that I've dipped my toe in a number of pools of experience, but a curse in that I am not so very talented at one thing that it's a no-brainer that I should do it. My life is a series of half-done enterprises:
- took Chinese but can't speak it
- lead singer in a rock band, have a cd, but only lasted a year
- tons of theater training, but nothing to show for it
- web/graphic design, but not enough coding/art education to really do it/be great at it
- got my poetry MFA, but never published so I could be a professor
- half a dozen half-started, incomplete writing projects
etc. etc.

Oh where oh where is the burning bush to tell me what to do!?

I'd even go for a still small voice.

A toasted leaf.

Anything.

When I was about 10 years old, I had a "vision" while entranced with the sunlight glittering through the blinds in my bedroom window - I believed that god was telling me that if I just kept doing everything I was doing (dancing, singing, acting, writing, etc.) that eventually I would get my call. I was intensely happy and assured.

Of course, I lost faith in that particular deity later, and the whole idea of having a calling or a mission or a purpose or a point in life evaporated, leaving me with lots of choices but no direction.

And I'm still there, in many ways.

Lots of choices and possibilities...

I've done all the books on finding a job to love, I've gone to career counselors. But I need more. I'm open and welcoming to any ideas or insights you might have!


About the direction of the blog, too.

Names That Don't Work

Item 1: Sorry, but people sometimes choose e-mail names just plain suck: Today's winner:
"stinkylingo" I mean, yuck - do you really want me to buy your stuff if you smell? If your language smells?

Random Thought of the Day

When doing ballet as a kid, we were warned against squeezing our butt muscles and told instead to reduce our butt profile by tucking it in.

Now that I don't do ballet, I am free to squeeze my butt as much as I like and make it really really big.

How fun is that?