I cannot believe the Democrats have taken over. And it was Virginia that did it.
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One of the effects of mixing the worlds of theater and Christianity: the prevalence of soul-jabbing judgment that is ultimately extremely superficial.
My mother, for instance. She makes a lot of assumptions about people's character based on things like their sunglasses.
As in, “He has a problem with arrogance.”
“Yes, Mom, he does.” She's so wise, my mother, I think. My ex IS so arrogant.
“Like the time he came to Texas, wearing those surfer sunglasses.” Huh? “We don't dress like that in Texas. He thought he was so cool. He's got that issue from his father. That deep-seeded anger toward the world.”
The incident she was relating had occurred eight years before, when T and I came to spend Christmas with her.
It's so typical of my mother to put so much stake in something so sleight. It's so typical of an artist or an actress, you might say - a small symbol encapsulating a large truth. But like an artist or an actress, the truths she found were things she created, not necessarily pre-existing to her interpretation.
T didn't wear those sunglasses because he was feeling arrogant toward the state of Texas; he didn't slide them on gleefully saying, now I'm really sticking it to those cowpokes. They were cheapo sunglasses he happened to have. He didn't think in terms of dressing Texan; who would? I certainly didn't show up in boots; why should he? It so irked me that she would make these ridiculous kind of judgments, with no basis in fact whatsoever. I always get hooked with her, because sometimes she IS sort of right; T did have anger and arrogance issues, stemming from insecurity, etc. But it really had nothing to do with his choice of eyewear. I was married to the man for six years. I know.
Of course, she put herself through the same scrutiny. She came to visit me in Charlottesville one time and practically peed her panties worrying about where she could purchase 'city shorts.' What the hell are city shorts, I didn't ask, because I don't say 'hell' around my mother.
What are city shorts? I said, trying to stay tame.
All I have are country shorts, they don't fit in here, here in the city.
Of course, if my mother actually paid attention to the real superficial details of things, she'd know that Charlottesville is very far from being a city.
She'd also know that no one gave a damn what kind of shorts she was wearing.
My resentment, as you might have guessed, mostly stems from having had her critical eye trained so fiercely on me.
Like if I wore all-black. To her this meant I was shrouding myself in the cloak of Satan.
Or if my lipstick had smeared off. Obviously I was trying to be a manly lesbian. Never mind I always wore more makeup growing up than anyone else in my peer group. Or that wearing makeup does not correlate to sexuality (hello lipstick lesbians!).
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