Living in Peace

I was sitting out on the porch the other night, thinking about how lucky, really, I am to be living here and now. Most people in the world at this very moment are living in some kind of strife, whether it be hunger or homelessness, poverty or war. We're lucky to be the Fat Cats we are. People have been striving for fat cattishness forever, and it probably won't last very long, so the question that came to my mind was: What are we doing with it?

Seriously, what good are we making of this peace and plenty? Are we enjoying it? Are we deepening our souls, educating our minds, expanding our wisdom, embracing beauty? Are we creating art and literature, elements of a high, happy culture? Are we evolving as we should be, given that we have so much given?

In some respects, I could probably say yes to this. For all the sense of decay - moral, political, intellectual, etc., - there are actually some wonderful things happening in this country. I'm grateful for them:

a) the rise of awareness about the planet, organic food, etc., - there's more and more people getting hip with the situation of earth's unhealthiness, and their own...
b) the rise of tolerance - yes, I know, it sucks that there's not free gay marriage in every state, but in the media and in general, there's more acceptance of interracial marriage, women leaders, and gay people than ever
c) more good television - say what you like, but as much as there's loadfulls of crappy programming, there's also really awesome, smart, challenging TV being created
d) increased quality of human connection - through blogs and yahoo groups, there's more people bonding, forming communities, and there are nice people...

Yeah, I know, you could temper each of these items with horror stories of intolerance, crap, sucky people, religious dogma, how expensive things are, etc. But I'd rather be living now that in the 1950s, and there's lots of reasons for that. I'm in a warm house, typing on a laptop, wearing organic lotion, a healthy daughter asleep, and I am lucky. I want to make the most of this luck. I want to be responsible for the terror and oppression my country spreads over the world - I want to continue to promote and give my life to helping others achieve this peace - but I also want to accept and enjoy it, because it is a gift, and I feel like it would be ungrateful to squander it by complaining about how it's not good enough...

It's kind of like my friend who had the trust fund and felt guilty about it. She drove me crazy with her apologies, her self-deprecation, her shame. I just wanted to yell at her, "Relish it! Spend the money! Embrace it! Share the wealth, but goshdarn, have fun! You're lucky!"

It's hard to not feel guilty for having this luck, especially when you mine its roots and find that slavery and oppression and the blood of abused workers fed and built the foundations of it. It is hard to know how to behave, to enjoy shopping or driving if you think of all the people who suffer for the oil for the clothes for the shoes that I buy, use, and wear...

Oh dear, my argument unravels...